In Singapore, one in 10 women experiences physical violence in their lifetime. Seven in 10 cases of domestic violence also go unreported, while the issue itself is often seen as a private family matter.
“We run a hotline for women who are victims of different forms of violence, so we know that violence is a real issue,” says Kokila Annamalai, 25, a full-time staffer with women’s advocacy group Aware. “Yet nobody seems to think it exists in Singapore, that it’s a safe, violence-free country.”
This is the cause to which Ms Annamalai has devoted herself. She is the campaign coordinator for the Singapore chapter of We Can!, a global campaign to end violence against women that began as a six-year, six country effort in South Asia in 2004. In January 2013, Singapore became the 16th country to adopt it.
The community-led campaign uses interactive theatre, workshops and projects to provoke discussion on the less obvious forms of violence against women. For example, psychological violence, where women are constantly being run down by their partners through words and insults, or emotional neglect. Or financial violence, where women are controlled through the use of money. As Ms Annamalai notes, “If we’re only going to take violence seriously when we see a black eye, then that’s a problem.”
As part of its efforts, We Can! Also works through Change Makers – ordinary individuals who pledge a violence-free life, as well as to call out violence against women when they see it. So far, some 3.9 million Change Makers have been recruited from all over the world. Ms Annamalai says, “It’s a campaign that’s about what everyone can do to prevent violence, everyday attitudes and everyday sexism that creates an environment in which violence can happen. Who bears witness to this violence? It’s often family or friends. So we bystanders have a bigger role to play in calling out violence and giving them support.”
In the fight against violence, the biggest barriers in Singapore may well be entrenched social attitudes. “In Singapore, we sort of have a culture of not talking about social issues like poverty. We pretend that a lot of these issues don’t exist, and we’re not comfortable talking about them openly,” claims Ms Annamalai.
And the problem of violence against women may be widespread than thought - the We Can! workshops attract some 10-15 people for each session, and many of them share experiences of violence. Ms Annamalai says, “What the campaign is trying to do is get people to start these conversations, to recognize that it’s a real issue and it’s okay to talk about it. Otherwise, it remains an invisible problem and we can never address it.”
But what are the signs of domestic abuse in women, and how can we learn to spot them? Ms Annamalai says one sign is when the victim becomes more withdrawn – when you start seeing them less, or when they start making excuses not to turn up for gatherings.
She notes, “If your friend or family member is being controlled in their relationship and doesn’t have a voice, when they have a sense of fear, when they are constantly checking their phone when they are out with you, then that’s definitely a sign that they’re in an unequal relationship. Unequal relationships are a breeding ground for all kinds of violence.”
When victims start to feel like they are being controlled, it should also set off alarm bells, says Ms Annamalai. But victims tend to normalize even behavior such as partners telling them who they are allowed to meet or when they have to be home, “Women don’t have as much power or status as men. So people think it’s normal for a man to say, you have to be home by this time, or you can’t take that promotion, you have to stay at home and look after the baby.”
Ultimately, the campaign against violence can only succeed by taking on the smallest things, “The campaign isn’t about broken bones, it’s about everyday things.”